I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
