She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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