her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm always down for nudity.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
