i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
