when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
