Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize