She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
