Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
