i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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