Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
