Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
