he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i drank out of a bidet.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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