What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm always down for nudity.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
