Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
