I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
