dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
