mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
