Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
