Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
