Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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