We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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