I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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