If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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