What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
