just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
