Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
