Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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