Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
