Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
