I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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