He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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