i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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