Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
