3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
