It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
