Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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