Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
