Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
