I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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