he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
