i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's shark week go big or go home
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
