did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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