oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
