We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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