Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just found puke in my bra..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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