people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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