We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
