my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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