im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
