I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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