VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
as a side note pls kill me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
