So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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