I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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