:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
