Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
