So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
