I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
