At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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