just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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