just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
