I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i now understand why vodka
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize