i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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