Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
